26 April 2017

I Challenge You to a Dance Off

Upon hearing the first beat of ‘Give It Up’ by KC and The Sunshine Band, Turtle moved swiftly across the function room to the area assigned for dancing. And without hesitation or trepidation, Turtle threw forth a dance like no other. Because Turtle knew, that when it comes to a dance off, you don’t wait for an invitation. Especially at a wedding.

Mug reads "follow the call of the disco ball"

6 July 2014


Quiet fell upon the garments of the partygoers
as passed by a tortoise wearing a pair of silent trousers.

23 June 2014


Having spoken not a word to the Frenchman, Turtle graciously accepted the proffered ears of corn and added them to his bum-bag. And, without pausing for thanks, away the Frenchman strode thinking only for a fleeting moment about the mechanics of attaching a bum-bag to a tortoise.

25 February 2014

Cat Commands

"Make it so...!" said the undoubtedly portly feline.
And although not the most conventional way to make the request, Turtle obliged and put the kettle on.
After all, he was quite ready for a brew.

24 February 2014

... Turtle's Got Rhythm, How 'Bout You?

With a slight degree of trepidation governing his moves, Turtle danced into the waning sunlight; knowing full well that the end of this Rhumba would mark the stewing of his brew...

20 February 2014

The Tortoise and the Bear

'But, am I a bear though?'
thought Turtle as his goliath companion delicately topped up their teapot with more hot water.
After much discussion, the Bear had conceded that Turtle's hue was indeed most uncommon in his species, and his gait most un-bearlike.
But still, the Bear insisted in a most endearing way that Turtle was in fact not a tortoise at all.
And although it was a difficult notion for him to accept, it did go some way towards explaining all that 'rawwrrrr'-ing in Turtle's sleep.

Teddy bear felt bracelet from The Fabulous Creations of Maria Filipe

2 October 2013

The Day's Good Deed

"Don't you think...?"
spoke the digestive as it watched Turtle sup the last of his tea.
It was indeed most unusual, he thought, for a digestive to live its entire life without ever having met a hot brew.
So being of altruistic breed, Turtle let a moment pass softly over the biscuit tin and then...
put the kettle on.

Nice biscuit screen printed cushion from NikkiMcWilliams

25 September 2013

Cookie Cutting

When Turtle's cutting cookies,
the cookies that Turtle cuts,
speak so often in rhymes and riddles,
that it drives Turtle nuts.

Whale cookie cutter from DIY Sweet Supply Co

12 September 2013

Chicken Chat

The 127th chicken that Turtle counted on this particular day turned out to be a bird of many words.
Unlike the others, it chatted on and on and on about almost nothing.
The only glimmer of pleasing prose that left the chicken's beak was a fleeting and altogether confusing drop of the words
"I am Batman".
At least that explains the outfit, thought Turtle.

"Bat" Costume for Pet Ducks, Chickens, & Geese
from Party Fowl

4 September 2013

Complementary Soup

Peering over the edge of the bowl, the Wanton Wonton affected an unnervingly calm demeanour.
As Turtle observed the gentle ripple of the steaming broth, he became acutely aware of the fact that his Grandmother's fine china wasn't sitting as safely as he'd hoped.

Wooden bowl, spoon and chopsticks set from a little dream

17 April 2013

Venturing Out.

Having put them on for the first time in a good, long while, Turtle realised that his shoes were made almost entirely of snarky comments...